Recently I read the story of two very smart individuals. The story comes from Outliers. They were both recognized geniuses, but unfortunately only one was successful. A person’s up bringing has a lot to do with whether or not they will be successful. The first man Chris Langan grew up with an alcoholic father. He was emotionally neglected and even abused. The second man Robert Oppenheimer grew up privileged. His parents were wealthy and they gave him a rich cultivating environment. He was regularly encouraged to think outside of the box and asked questions. Robert developed great social skills and street smarts. Chris on the other hand learned to be defensive. Authorities were not to be trusted. Our backgrounds and paths as learners are related.
Dealing With Life
On one occasion, Chris tried to explain to the staff at his college that the transmission on his truck had fallen out. All he wanted was to be transferred to an afternoon class, as he wasn’t going to be able to get to school early enough in the morning without his vehicle. The school refused him. On another occasion, Chris’s mom forgot to fill out the paperwork for his financial aid at Reed University. Once Chris realized what had happened, he tried to get the situation corrected, but he was told it was too late and that financial aid had already been given to others. I know it’s not fair Chris was a genius and he should have gotten better treatment, but he didn’t. We all have to learn to work with people to get a win win. Here’s a previous article – Stay Focused When Your Best Isn’t Enough.
Life looked very different for Robert, he was an influencer. People listened to his opinions and accommodated his needs. Unfortunately, my up bringing looks closer to Chris’s than it does to Robert. Of course, I am not a genius, but if super smart people can face these kinds of challenges how much more the rest of us. Thankfully my dad was never an alcoholic and we weren’t poor, but I was labeled special education and I did feel neglected. In Hong Kong, we call special education SEN or Special Education Needs. My classes were often separated from main stream classes. I think the language part of my brain developed slower than it did for other kids. I remember feeling frustrated at school as there was no one to talk to. I had so much inside of me that I wanted to share, but there was no one there who wanted to listen. I was the quiet boy who sat at the back of the room.
Our Backgrounds Shape Us in Unique Ways
Those who grow up neglected are often unsure of themselves. They tend to be more passive. They don’t want to rock the boat because they want others to like them. When it comes to teaching overseas, many schools welcome these teachers because they are easier to manage. At least in the early stages, these teachers are likely to do what they are told quietly and not challenge the current way of doing things. Yes, I taught at a school where one of the foreign teacher was loved by the students, but not so much by the school. DeAnn thought outside of the box. She wanted reform and the school didn’t want to change their policies, so they parted ways. Actually, I am happy for her she went on to be happier at her new school because she found people who were willing to listen to her and implement her ideas.
Looking For Significance
The path of least resistance is always easier, but it is not nearly as rewarding. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be like DeAnn. I just wasn’t. My background had shaped me to play it safe. I was a slow learner and I was always trying to evaluate whether or not my environment was safe. I didn’t want people to dislike me. Of course, all the schools I have served at have liked the easy going nature of my character. It often seems that I care too much about what people think of me. The reality is most people don’t think about me or if I may allow me to say that most people don’t think about you either. They are in their own worlds, but don’t get hung up on this. There are still lessons to be learned and opportunities to have a positive impact on other people’s lives.
Accepting Other People’s Care
A few years back, an English teacher at my school talked to me after one of the panel meetings. He said that I should have insisted on the English team talking in English while they were discussing matters that related to my job. I thanked him for his concern. He could have just said nothing. Then later, I explained that in that instance there were two reasons why I didn’t require more English from the department. One was I felt that I understood enough that I didn’t need to, but then the second reason was that I trusted both my panel and my vice principal not to implement something that would be harmful to me. I guess there was a third obvious reason that I didn’t mention. I wanted everyone to be happy and for everyone to be able to finish the meeting on time. Speaking English or translating for me would have slowed them down.
Feeling like Cog
What about you guys, do you insist on your English team speaking English for you? Would you have had someone to translate for you? Do you trust the people who are in charge in your school? Questions are good. If there are no questions than something is probably wrong. I think we value other people when we allow them to ask questions. Unfortunately, if you are foreigner here in Hong Kong or a foreigner in China you are definitely not going to understand everything. You will have questions. The reality is people don’t generally have time for our questions. Feel free to tell me if you feel that I am wrong here. Possibly you are an influencer and your team does a better job accommodating you.
Staff Meeting
I have been at my school for 7 years now and over that period I have also had the opportunity to speak with other NET teachers. I think the biggest waste of time for NET’s is staff meeting. When I first came to my school, they assigned me a teacher who regularly fell asleep in staff meeting to translate for me. This irritated me. I refused to wake him up to get my questions answered. If he wanted to sleep that was on him. I was not about to take responsibility for keeping him awake or interrupting his sleep. One of the things that he did that was useful to me though was he used to WhatsApp me 2 or 3 key points from the meeting that I needed to know about. I have heard that some of the other NET’s have a similar arrangement with someone in their English department. Recently, a NET told me about how the guy that was supposed to translate for him regularly used the time to practice his English instead of translating. What about you? What are your experiences? Technically, I know that all NET’s are supposed to attend these meetings, but I have heard that some have other “important activities” scheduled at the same time as them so they don’t have to attend. Personally, I think this policy requiring NETs to attend, is disrespectful to the NET’s.
Don’t Give Up
Years ago, I used to feel a lot of stress from trying my best to understand what was going on in the staff meetings. I refused to waste my time. I wrote down the words that I understood and looked up words that I didn’t understand. Now a days, it is less stressful, but there is still a lot that I miss. The vocabulary you need for a staff meeting is on a higher level than what you need for a Cantonese church service. Personally, I prefer the Cantonese church service. I find it more rewarding. All of that said language is an investment. It will take months and even years before you really see pay back from your investment.
