Home is where the heart is. There are still a lot of things to like about Hong Kong and for now it is my home. I have friends here but I would not say I have a lot of close friends here. I think going deep with people requires the ability to communicate well in their language. There are a lot of foreigners who have lived here for more than 10 years without learning to speak much Cantonese. From my perspective language is essential to feeling at home. Of course, Cantonese is difficult and most foreigners have foreign friends that they can relate to in English. I understand, I also have both foreign and Chinese friends that I can relate to in English, but outside of that bubble communication for most of us breaks down. Foreigners experience Hong Kong differently than locals do. Yes, there are English radio and TV broadcasts, but the content is often different. Also there is not the same sense of shared experience in listening to, watching or experiencing an event separate from the locals. Foreigners experience Hong Kong from a distance. Language barriers do separate people. Having said that, I am thankful for the many Hongkongers who have tried to make that separation a little bit less by translating for us.
Feeling Connected
Locals might be there to help out when it is convenient for them, but most Hong Kong people are very busy. They don’t have enough time for their own family. It’s unrealistic for them to make time for a foreigner especially if that foreigner is a stranger. It used to really bother me when a local person I had just met was being overly friendly to me. I used to think, alright what do they want from me. Thankfully, not everyone is like that. It’s important for foreigners to be honest with themselves about where they do and don’t belong. I think most foreigners find it hard or maybe even impossible to feel connected outside of the English speaking bubbles they participate in.
Hong Kong is a Modern City
About a year ago, I was talking to a local teacher who seemed to be suggesting that Hong Kong was still a good home for foreigners because they don’t have ties to the fabric of what Hong Kong used to be. Foreigners come on their own, establish their own communities and take advantage of the city’s modern infrastructure, shopping centres, food, parks, beaches etc… I could understand where she was coming from. Hong Kong does have a lot to offer.
Hong Kong has Economic Opportunities
In addition, I would like to add people make Hong Kong their home for economic reasons. I have talked with both Hongkongers and foreigners who choose to live here because they can make more money here than they could somewhere else. Hong Kong has a lot of money. I have seen more expensive cars, camera gear, and jewelry here than any where else in the world. If status and wealth are important to you, there are definitely opportunities to be had in Hong Kong.
Hong Kong Local Snacks Are Amazing
I love the variety of international foods here in Hong Kong. Also Hong Kong has it’s own specialty foods. Egg tarts, waffles, milk tea, pine apple buns, etc… Whether you grew up here or not, Hong Kong’s food definitely sets it apart from other places.
Trying to Make Connections
A few months ago, I was running on the beach at Treo beach. I stopped and talked to a family. The kids were probably about kindergarten age. I asked them are you digging a hole. The dad looked at me and then looked at his kids and repeated the question. He turned to me and said, “They don’t understand yet.” We were speaking in Cantonese and continued the conversation in Cantonese. They praised my Cantonese. I told them that I was teaching English at a band 3 school. They asked me why I didn’t teach at an international school. I told them that one of the reasons was because I wanted to learn Cantonese. They asked me how I liked teaching at the band 3 school. I told them it was hard being the only foreigner and that when I first came I didn’t understand what was going on around me. I had to sit through 3 hour staff meetings in Cantonese without understanding. They sympathized and agreed with me that I had chosen a hard difficult road to travel.
English is Still Extremely Important
Connections are important to whether a person feels at home or not. As much as I might like to tell you that I was strong enough or smart enough to stay in a completely Cantonese environment to learn the language, I wasn’t and I am still not. I still spend a fair amount of time in English. Hahaha… yes I am writing this blog in English. I want to give a shout out to my Anchor cell group and before that the Haven cell group. Both groups welcome foreigners and Chinese participants. Sometimes the groups share in Cantonese but mostly they share in English. I used to fear that they changed channels to English only because I was present. But this doesn’t bother me anymore. I have learned that most of them are very comfortable expressing their heart in English. I am still not very good at expressing matters of the heart in Cantonese. I’m just grateful to have a group of friends that receive me as I am. I feel like I belong here. Another group that has been life giving to me is the Sunday Motorcycle Club. This group is mostly foreigners. They ride pretty fast. I have had a lot of good breakfast morning conversations with the members and I have really appreciated having the opportunity to hear their stories.
I am a person who likes to communicate, so as great as these two groups are, I find that I still need time to regularly connect with friends back in America. They also have been very supportive of me and I get the opportunity to be supportive of them as well.
Home Sweet Home
Beyond connections with people, I think the physical place we call home should be comfortable. Tracy and I have lived in a lot of different places all around Hong Kong, but this is our first village house. I ended up choosing this place because I thought I would be getting a dog. So far that has not happened. It is a secondary issue now. When my friends helped me move, most of them said I could never live out in the countryside like this. It’s too far from public transportation, there aren’t enough lights, or it doesn’t even appear on google maps (it does now). Now Tracy has joined me here in the village house and we both like. Personally, I like the fact that I don’t have swipe my card or say hello to 3 different security guards before I can return home. I also like the fact that we have fresh air out here. We have space around us and we have 700 square feet of space in our apartment. It’s the closest that I have come to feeling at home away from home in terms of accommodations here in Asia.
Transportation is an area that we are still trying to figure out. I have a motorcycle and sometimes I take Tracy to and from work on the motorcycle, but it is not ideal. At some point we may buy a car or move closer to Tracy’s work. Yes you can tell there are a number of factors to balance in making a home feel more like home.
