Hong Kong is a busy place. Everyday people sacrifice relationship in favor of efficiency. Get more work done often translates into more money but fewer relationships. I know that this isn’t just a Hong Kong phenomena, but maybe I’m more sensitive to it because Hong Kong is my home. People work really long hours here, but it’s not just work that gets in the way of community. As modern people who live in a modern city, we place a high value on food, convenience, and gadgets. These things aren’t by themselves wrong. However, they do have a tendency to distract us from spending time with each other. Language is another factor that can hold us back from from finding community in Hong Kong.
Prioritizing People
Each one of us is created in the image of God, each one of us is worthy of acknowledgement and good will (Dallas Willard). By acknowledgement, Dallas means a greeting, a smile or some form of kind recognition that the other person is there. Good will takes acknowledgement to the next level. It doesn’t mean that we should help every person who is in need but it does mean that when the opportunity to help presents itself, we shouldn’t look the other way. We should prioritize people. In the book of Acts, the believers had everything in common and they lived together in community. Obviously, we can’t have that with everyone, but I think it safe to say that life is more meaningful when we have it than we don’t.
Don’t Do Life Alone
We were not designed to do life alone, yet many people are effectively living life alone. I am guessing that community can be found in every culture, but it seems particularly difficult for those who are outside of the dominant culture, foreigners, to find community among Hong Kong Chinese people especially in Cantonese. So why the imbalance. Of course, the obvious reason is Cantonese is hard and most foreigners can’t speak it well. It’s pretty hard to have community when you don’t understand what is being said. I know many Chinese try to come to the foreigners rescue when he or she can’t understand Cantonese, but it’s not sustainable. Hong Kong translates are not going to always be able to be there for us. They just can’t be. We are going to be alone at times. If you are a foreigner who is wondering what it would be like to be in a place where you don’t understand the language take a look at this Coffee Activity blog. Anyway let’s not do life alone.
Perfectionists
In addition to not understanding Cantonese, I think there is another reason why there is such an imbalance. Many Hong Kong people are perfectionists. They want everything to be done right the first time. They don’t have patience for their own mistakes or the mistakes of others. Therefore given the choice a lot of them would prefer to avoid speaking to foreigners. After all foreigners can’t speak Cantonese. Right? Trying to communicate with them will usually involve the HKer speaking English and if they’re not super comfortable with their English they will face awkward moments. I think foreigners can learn Cantonese, but many of them give up too early. Yes, they give up because Cantonese is hard, but they also give up because many Hong Kongers tend towards perfectionism. I can’t tell you how many people have told me foreigners can’t learn Cantonese. “If you want to learn Chinese, learn Mandarin.” Also I have been in a number of conversations where the Hong Kong person refused to speak Cantonese with me. I spoke to them in Cantonese and they spoke back in English. They didn’t want to acknowledge my Cantonese. Whatever situation your in Stay Focused When Your Best Isn’t Good Enough.
A Church Example
There are lots of Hong Kong Chinese people who go to English church services, but not many foreigners who attend Cantonese church services. Aside from going to church to find God a close second reason for many people is likely to find community. Obviously, attending a church service doesn’t directly translate into finding community. Let’s take a look at the definition of community. “Community is a social unit (a group of people) with a shared socially-significant characteristic, such as place, set of norms, culture, religion, values, customs, or identity.” If you want community it makes sense for you to hang out with others who hold similar values, culture, religion etc… as you. Churches such as the Vine pride themselves on providing community. Check out their, “Imagine With Me a Church,” opening trailer (fast forward to 7:15). It seems very lopsided that Hong Kong Chinese people come to English church services but relatively few foreigners come to Cantonese church services. Yes, I know much of Hong Kong norms, culture, religion, values etc… can be expressed in English, but still language can not be ignored. Cantonese is part of Hong Kong’s community and many foreigners are on the outside of this part of Hong Kong community.
Learn the Language
Years ago when I came to Hong Kong, I was told that I should try to learn the local language because the people would respect me more for trying. Unfortunately, the majority of foreigners who set out to learn Cantonese end up giving up or just settling for a very basic level. It’s understandable. Foreigners come to Hong Kong many times with no background in the Chinese language and no vocabulary. Hong Kongers have a clear advantage here as they start learning English in primary school. Therefore they already know how the language sounds and they already have some vocabulary. All of this leads the foreigner to think why bother learning the language. The Hong Konger’s English is far superiors to my Cantonese. I can get by without it. Well, maybe, but is it worth it to just get by. You have to ask yourself are you okay with just getting by. Here’s an interview with Hubert. He learned Cantonese as a college student in Hong Kong – You Can Learn a Language Later in Life
Foreigners Find Community With Other Foreigners
There are many Hong Kongers who speak fluent or nearly fluent English. They can easily go back and forth between connecting with other Hong Kongers or with foreigners. I have at times experienced community in groups with Hong Kongers, but for the most part it has been in English. I was in a Cantonese community group where I think under the right circumstances we could have gone deeper with each other (everything was in Cantonese). Unfortunately, community takes time and the group needed to disband. Most foreigners never make it to community in Cantonese. They don’t have the time or the patience to learn Cantonese. They find community with other foreigners in English.
Living Separately
But don’t get down on yourself for being a foreigner. At times, it can be difficult for Hong Kong Chinese people to find community as well. A few years ago, I went to a NET community dinner. We were at a bar and grill on Hong Kong island side. I sat across from a local English teacher. I was a little bit surprised that she came as the gathering was primarily for foreigners. In addition, I could tell that she was exhausted, so I asked her why she came. She told me that she liked the laid back atmosphere and felt more relaxed hanging out with this group of NET teachers. She talked about how her work environment felt too ridged and draining. Everything was about work. It seemed to me that she was looking for community and to some extend had found it with foreigners. It doesn’t matter whether it is a foreigner or a Chinese person we all need community. Whether or not we find it with each other depends on a variety of factors and language may be chief among them.
In the Office
As a foreigner at my school, I regularly see small talk between HKers in Cantonese. It’s supposed to be that way. I am glad that they can connect with each other. Unfortunately, I think it still bothers me that I am not apart of those moments. Sometimes I don’t understand what they are saying. Sometimes I do understand, but I’ve learned not to say anything even when I do understand. Those moments aren’t intended for me. I’ve learned that people talk to you because they want to talk to you. They aren’t intentionally leaving me out. They are just being themselves and enjoying brief moments in their language with each other. I’ve also guessing that many teachers are lacking community themselves. We are constantly producing for others, but not really enjoying time with others. I guess I was subconsciously hoping that learning Cantonese would be like a magic bullet that would some how unlock the secret to being more connected in Hong Kong society. Oh well, that hope was dashed. However, learning Cantonese, to my currently level, has allowed me to feel more like an adult in my work place and in Hong Kong as a whole. I don’t usually require people to translate for me.
Motorcycle Club
This last weekend I got to ride with a motorcycle club. We enjoyed spending time together around motorcycles. Our club ride took us from the Airport Core Programme Exhibition Centre to Yuen Long to Disney and finally to breakfast. Near the end of breakfast one of the guys confessed to me that he has lived in Hong Kong for most of his life and that he felt embarrassed about not being smart enough to learn Cantonese. He heard me speaking and may have thought that I had somehow arrived in my Cantonese journey. I wanted to tell him that I still had a ways to go and that while Cantonese makes life easier by itself it doesn’t offer more community. I admired him because he seemed pretty well connected to others in the motorcycle club. I guess one lesson to be learned here is make the best of where ever you are at in life. Enjoy your blessings. Here’s a video of our club ride with voice narration. I have removed the background audio in some places as my go pro mic was clipping due to the wind. Anyway hope you enjoy.
