Fake it till you make it? A few years back, I interviewed a friend Hubert. Hubert’s English is native. That makes sense. He grew up in Singapore and they speak English and Mandarin there, but that’s not all. Hubert speaks Cantonese. Yes, his family spoke it to him when he was growing up, but he didn’t use it a lot. Hubert’s Cantonese ability really took off when he moved to Hong Kong to go to university. I know that’s crazy; learning Cantonese at university because he had to. Of course, all of his subjects were in Cantonese. One of the parts of my interview with Hubert that really stood out to me was Hubert’s saying, “Fake it till you make it.” Practice confidence. One of the lessons I learned from Hubert was you don’t have to tell everyone all the things you didn’t understand. If you want to know the full context of his words, click here.
Ability & Reality
Obviously, your ability and the reality you portray to others have to at some point line up with each other. You can’t fake it forever. Eventually people will find you out. For better or for worse, what you are will come to the surface. So there really is no substitute for hard work. Another necessary ingredient is humility. Too many people are looking for a short cut. Be patient, be yourself and contribute to conversations when you can.
A few days ago, I was talking with the new English teachers and one returning English teacher. One of them asked me, “How long did it take you to master Cantonese”? I was taken back, but I quickly corrected him. I haven’t by any stretch of the imagination mastered Cantonese. There are still tons of vocabulary words that I don’t know, my tones are off, and their still lots of people I don’t understand. Language learners have to be careful not to let praise go to their head or criticisms go to their heart. Still it’s weird because this isn’t an isolated incident.
They Couldn’t Tell
On Sunday afternoon, I attended a meeting for a trip to Egypt that my wife and I will be taking in December. I think it’s a pretty cool thing that we are getting to know each other this early and preparing for our trip. The meeting was all in Cantonese. There were a few times when I asked questions. Near the end of the meeting, the time came for us to each share a little bit about ourselves. After my sharing one of the gals in the group asked my wife and I which language we communicated in. They couldn’t tell. They actually thought it was possible that we spoke Cantonese all or most of the time. Again this shocked me. My wife told them that when we argue she uses Cantonese and I use English. Hahaha. Yeah, actually we do.
Singled Out
A few days ago, I was in a meeting. 3 higher up officials came and visited my school. They asked us some questions. No one responded. One of the 3 saw me taking notes. I looked engage in what was going on so right there and then, in front of all of the teachers at my school, he asked me if I was a foreign teacher and then if I understood Cantonese. Next he asked me to answer the question. Honestly, I wasn’t looking to draw attention to myself, but I did. I feel like I didn’t have any choice. The reality of who I am becoming, a Cantonese speaker, was at stake. I needed to project confidence. Did I understand everything that had just gone on in the meeting no, but I got enough of it to respond to his question. When I finished talking, a number of the teachers clapped; they were impressed. There were also a number of chuckles.
Being Polite
Will this change how I interact with the teachers, probably not directly. They will still want to address me in English as that is a sign of cultural respect and many of them will likely remain in their worlds while I remain in my world. However, it doesn’t have to be this way. One step I can take is to learn people’s names, the subject they teach and maybe a little bit about them. I should do this as a courtesy to them. Whether or not anything comes of it is another matter. School is a busy place. Work needs to take first priority.
Exceptions
I must admit that faking it is not always a good idea. Of course we shouldn’t lie. Most of the time this isn’t an issue as people aren’t usually there to ask us did you understand or not. This summer we were on a trip to JiuZhaiGou, China. Our tour guides had just said a ton of stuff. Some of it I got; some of it I didn’t. Now it was time for us to get off the bus and go exploring. I knew the time and I thought I knew the place that we were supposed to come back to, but I was wrong. Whether or not you should fake it or not partly depends on what the information is. Some information is important and we need to be willing to humble ourselves and say, “I didn’t understand that could you say it again or even could you put it into English for me.”
Others Showing Concern
Unfortunately, the language learner often has a hard time knowing whether or not what was just said is important or not. Most of the colleagues at my school are used to seeing me present at meetings. Recently, a colleague told me that she felt sorry for me because I had to sit through meetings that I didn’t understand. She like a lot of others assumed I didn’t understand. Of course, understanding is not 100% got it or 100% didn’t get it. Still, I appreciated the fact that she was showing concern for me.
The Language Barrier isn’t the Only Issue
We are social beings by nature and it’s normal for us to seek out people who we have stuff in common with. As we go through out our day we reach out to those we can identify with. We support them and they support us. Language is just one aspect of culture. Everyone to some extent is proud of their own culture. When two people’s dominant language and culture are different, it’s likely that there interactions with each other will remain superficial unless there is sufficient need and context for them to break through these barriers and form more meaningful relationships. One lesson we can learn is that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence. Let’s learn to be content with where we are.
