How we treat others says a lot about us. It’s okay not to like everyone and we definitely don’t have to be friends with everyone, but we should extend a certain level of respect to everyone. At school, at church, on the street, or at work we are bound to meet new people. Sometimes we will welcome those individuals other times we may not. Regardless of whether that person is an angel or a villain. We owe to ourselves, them and God to extend basic kindness.
Fred’s Immaturity
Some weeks ago, I was at church, a man named Fred (not his real name) introduced himself to me. Fred is probably in his mid 60’s He was wearing red shorts, a bright colored shirt and a tie. Yeah he definitely stood out. Fred has a big Belly and he walked with a cane. He told me a little bit about himself and then he told me that I should apply for a senior citizen discount on public transportation. I told him that I wasn’t that old, but later in our conversation he replied it again. Again I told him that I wasn’t old enough. He didn’t appear to get it, so I ended the conversation. During the service, it came time for the children to be dismissed for children’s church. One of the ushers joked with Fred saying that it was time for him to go to children’s church. Fred joked right back. I didn’t find it amusing. Grown men should not act like children. I know it’s good to be child like and we need to stay young at heart, but Fred was drawing attention to himself in ways that seemed immature.
God Accepts Us
The pastor came to the pulpit and he spoke about God accepting us the way that we are. I know that that is true. There is no sin that is too big for God to forgive. It doesn’t matter whether we miss the mark in private or out in the open for everyone to see it. God is able to forgive us, but we have to be willing to receive that forgiveness. Everyone person must answer to God for their words and actions. We can’t know what is in another person’s heart so we should not judge others. However, we can discern things about others by their words and actions and plan our paths accordingly. Those who are genuinely forgiven are generally humble. They are grateful to God for the favor He has shown them. They may draw attention to themselves, but it should not be for their own glory or shame. Their lives should point to something bigger than themselves and they should be growing in their relationships with others
People May Not
Then on the following Sunday Fred met me again. He was sitting by himself and asked me if I wanted to sit next to him. I told him we already had seats. Fred decided to leave his seat and to come sit in the seat next to me. I introduced my wife Tracy to him, but he asked me if she was my mother. It didn’t make sense to me. He was clearly violating the norms of social interaction. I repeated myself again. Tracy is my wife. Finally Fred seemed to acknowledge what I was saying. Deep down we all want people to accept us. Fred words and actions definitely had the opposite affect on me. Alex expressed is longing to talk to girls in a different. Cory responded – Like They Would Talk to You.
We Reap What We Sow
I don’t imagine Fred has very many people lining up waiting to be his friend. That’s his business. I can’t help him. Thankfully, I don’t need to be friends with Fred, but I do need to treat him with respect. He is a person made in the image of God. One day we will both stand before God and give an account of our lives. I imagine God asking Fred We his life. Fred would probably respond, “Life was tough. I didn’t have many friends; no one wanted to spend time with me”. I am sure God will see it from a different perspective. We reap what we sow. If we want to find friends we have to show ourselves friendly. People will always be sizing us up. Here’s an article on that – Sizing People Up. Sometimes they will get it right. Sometimes they won’t.
Ted
Hong Kong can be a lonely place, but it doesn’t have to be. Each of us make choices that affect the kind of people that will be attracted to us or in Fred’s case repelled from us. Unfortunately, showing ourselves friendly isn’t always enough for making the right kind of friends either. Not long ago I met a guy from Nepal. I will call him Ted. Ted was kind. He remembered me from a previous encounter. He told me that I was a good team player in that setting. I took initiative when others were reluctant to. On more than one occasion told me that he considered me a friend. He invited me to go out with him to get an ice cream or a drink. I told him that I had just eaten and was full which was true.
Pictures of Scenery
A little while later another person was leading us around a beautiful campus. We stopped to take pictures along the way. Ted asked if I would take his picture. I did and then he asked if I wanted him to take my picture. I said sure. As he took the picture he said something very flattering. I don’t remember whether he had commented that he looked like a movie star or that I did, but either way I considered it over the top. Sometime later he asked if we could sit next to each other at an event. I told him that I needed to take pictures and that I wouldn’t be sitting. Later I found Ted sitting by himself at dinner. Of course, that was his choice. I went and found counselors, teachers and students to sit next to. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to sit next to him. I just wanted to connect with a variety of people.
We Have Blind Spots
On another occasion when I asked Ted if he was enjoying all of the events, he told me that he didn’t have a camera like I did. Therefore he had nothing to do. I sensed disappointment in his voice. I think he may have been expressing the idea that it was a waste of time. I didn’t comment. To each one who has more will be given to him, but to him who does not have even what he has will be taken away. For my last encounter with Ted, I offered him a ride to the MTR station. It wasn’t very far out of my way and I knew it was the right thing to do. Ted told me that I was the kindest person in the world. I said no I am not. I think he then expanded it to we are the kindest people in the world. I wanted to say whatever, but I didn’t. It’s okay. I took him to the MTR and we said goodbye. We can’t force to connections to happen. We won’t click with everyone, but I think it is wise for each of us to look at our words and actions and to ask are we representing ourselves well. It is very likely that we have blind spots. We might need ask someone to help us because blind spots are by nature not easily seen by us.
As I mentioned at the beginning, how we treat other people says more about us than it does about them. I think there are a lot of Freds and Teds in life. They may annoy us at times, but that’s okay. As mature people, we let them walk their path and we walk ours.
