She Wants To Be The Beauty

Every culture places a high value on beauty and culture. In most cultures it’s the guy who pursues the girl. In Chinese culture they have phrase about chasing girls. He wants the beauty and she wants to be the beauty. Unfortunately, outward beauty is only skin deep and an obsession with it is likely to cause a rotting away of inner beauty. Unlike outer beauty which you can be born with inner beauty has to be developed. You can’t make a girl beautiful and you can’t make a man handsome. The process that leads one to be beautiful may not work on another.

Therefore we can rightly say all that glitters isn’t gold. Still I think we all appreciate beauty when I see it. Over the holiday on our trip to GamZhou, I saw a figurine of a couple dancing together in our first hotel room. The woman’s red dress was long and flowing. She really stood out and the man’s black suit contrasted perfectly. The design was simple and elegant. We don’t need to see what their faces look like to know that they love each other.

There is however a design element that I question. Why does the man have both of his hands behind his back, while the girl has her arms wrapped around him? I think the two of them would look more connected with each other if they were hand in hand. Am I reading too much into it or was their a conscious effort to show the girl as having fallen for the guy and the guy being more standoffish? Does this say something about today’s culture? We still celebrate beauty, but many of us are more cautious about fully trusting another person with our hearts. We have been hurt before and don’t want to be hurt again. This is in contrast to the middle school years. I wrote an article titled The Drama Between Two Middle School Girls on a Bus. In that case the boy seemed willing to trade everything to get the pretty girl. Another observation about this figurine is that it has been a long time since it has been dusted. Relationships require time and maintenance. We can’t just work all the time, pay the bills, eat and sleep. We have to attend to each others needs. First we need to deal with the character issues in our lives. We aren’t responsible for fixing the character flaws in our partners lives, but we are responsible for being there for them and helping them along in their journey.    

The Wedding

The next picture is of an elegant dining room. I picture the figurine couple fitting into this dining room perfectly. There are no sharp edges. From the lighting on the ceiling to the tables on the floor, everything is curvy and round. The arrangement of violet LED tiny bulbs and bigger bright white bulbs is well balanced. As you would expect, there is a high ceiling and the floors are mirror like. This is romantic modern dining room looks like it could have come out of a fairy tale. I’m guessing that it is in high demand for couples who are getting married. It has been said that couples spend more time planning for their wedding than they do for their married life together. All too often I think we are more concerned with the exterior than we are with the interior. We prioritize outward beauty over inward beauty. Therefore it should not surprise us that many of our relationships don’t last. Too often we lack the inter strength of character to survive.  

Hurt

I’m sure that this girl would not have approved of my taking her picture. Well, she lives somewhere in GamZhou and I am all the way over here in Hong Kong, so it is unlikely that she will ever get word of it. Unfortunately, one of the consequences of our obsession with outward beauty is that many people are rotting on the inside. They don’t want others to know but occasionally there are moments when their outward appearance reflects their inner reality. When I see the picture, I see a girl who might be pretty on another occasions. She is wearing a nice dress and shoes, but I think she looks angry and bitter. Okay, let me be up front with you these are my impressions and I could be wrong. What matters more here is that each of us look at the conditions of our own hearts. Many people don’t like what’s going on inside of them and they try very hard to hide it. It’s better to deal with matters of the heart as they will direct much of our lives. So let me continue. You can see it in her face and in her posture. I’m guessing that she believes that whatever the problem, it’s other people’s fault. She doesn’t think she has done anything wrong. She probably feels sorry for herself. I feel bad for her and those she is close to. Life is going to be hard for them. She needs to learn to forgive. Actually they both do. If you are someone like this or connected to someone like this be careful. It can be very draining.

Enjoy Life

Yes, life throws us a lot of curve balls. Bad things happen to good people, but that doesn’t mean that we have to live under the weight of those bad things. Life is good because God is good. No matter how bad things may seem. There is something to be thankful for. Thou sorrow may last for the night, joy comes in the morning. Enjoy life. Find hobbies and habits that help you relax. For this couple, it looks like their dogs help them. For you it might be eating out or doing exercise. Make sure you take time to do it and enjoy life. No one is going to tell you that outward beauty is not important. It is, but it isn’t everything. There are many attractive men and women who are ugly on the inside. Let’s deal with our character issues and show grace to those around us as they deal with theirs.